composition i
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May 04, 2019 (Edited May 08, 2019)
Now that I’m so close to the end of Dr. Myers’ Composition I this spring semester 2019, it’s time to sit back and high-five my better self! Well, I mean, how can I know if I’m better?
So, I go over all my Composition I writing projects: from my personal essay, to teamwork profile series, to my summary and response essay, to teamwork informative article series; I am now transfixed by whatever this feeling is—kind of strange, much irritating, and just glad. As so, I’m wording out this reflection essay as a way to slap me in the face.
First slap: English has opened headspaces for me to be thinking and tripping. In which, there’s a headspace of me having too much fun with the set-in forces I carry, of me being uprooted. It’s pretty much the same issue I have with sounds, graphics, info, and emotions, with me ended up just wasting time, almost losing my mind. I won’t get stuck playing there. I will get better in understanding how the locks work so I can get around less faint and no more empty-handed. I will be alright...
Second slap: Let’s make clear if I am now my better self post-this-writing-class! So, “I feel kind of strange” when I’m done reading what I wrote months ago probably because all to me now is not as I remember. All my writing projects were done last-minute, so I remember each as how it could have been better. After all, they’re okay, and I’m okay with that. Umm, “I feel much irritating” probably because what I wrote sounds so emo at times, some parts sound dead-serious, some should have made better sense. Boo. I like things fun and clear now. I want to sound fun and clear now. Hmm, “I’m just glad” probably because I see for myself the distance between then and now, my focus then and now. I see that I am still same-same in my heart and those words are mine to keep. So I’m glad to get here now.
Third slap: About my behaviors in class: Bad! Though I believe I remember everything, most of me somehow was in view-only mode, my chill was elsewhere. My behaviors were about wrong, out of sync, must have pissed someone off (again). I’m not sure what were mixed in or what mixed up my behaviors... of course I know how irresponsible this sounds; I will work on this. Clearly it's not the context, but too many of the contexts I find myself in? no? My behaviors suck! I know...
Fourth slap: Actually, I think I’m doing fine in studying. I mean, I really like being in this class. I did not at all find myself in situations where I see me sweating and running just to meet deadlines, me boring myself to tears just to get things done right. I had the space to freestyle and I had targets to work towards. I feel like I got myself with me every step of the way. I even caught myself in those chains of realizing ‘A’ to realizing ‘B’ and on and on, like I was in some sort of master plan. To sum, I’m sure I’ve learnt a lot. Yeah?
And... from the bottom of my heart, I very much appreciate being given the chance to be here. Dr. Myers’ plan and feedbacks mean big to me. Truly. No matter what, in me there’s a feeling to see Dr. Myers later... No bye
May 13, 2019
I am terrified of seeing that I'm out of my mind, and I am scared to trust what I see. But me seeing Dr. Myers and me holding in my hand Dr. Myers' feedbacks have stayed with me as my lifesaver, and will.
I'm on my flight back home, I smile with tears at my past 4 months. I do feel safer with what I see now—not enough but I do. I can't wait to come back.